Murder Murder Most Foul

This is essentially why all boys should die (the beginning of the fight seemed unnecessary to include, in my defense I was not being a crazy bitch and did in fact have ample reason to be pissed off):

vicky says:

oh my fucking god. i can't talk to you.

Jake says:

I can't talk to you either. You're mad about nothing, and it's very frustrating

vicky says:

you're frustrated?!

Jake says:

A little.

Not very much though. Mostly just because I have to type things

vicky says:

go to bed. im done talking to you.

Jake says:

Ok. Good night

Can I go to bed now, or are you gonna send me a pissed off text in 5 minutes?

vicky says:

fuck off

go to bed

Jake says:

I'll stick around for a minute. You're gonna say something else. I can sense it.

vicky says:

well im sorry, you're wrong. I'm very frustrated and need you to fuck off so i can try to calm down and finish my god damn homework. You have me to the point where i probably wont be able to do anything else tonight. thanks asshole.

Jake says:

Oh my, Vicky.

I find this way funnier than I should, and for that I am very sorry

vicky says:

oh.my.fuck. get out of my life.

Jake says:

k. I love you baby

vicky says:

FUCK OFF

Jake says:

You too. Good night

vicky says:

....you make me laugh. but i still hate you.

Jake says:

I'm sorry baby. You've been mad at me like this for retarded reasons so many times in the last 2 and a half years, and when I take it seriously, it always makes it worse. Tomorrow everything will be cool. You're probably just gassy

vicky says:

okay i love you again. go to bed.

Jake says:

Sweet. I thought I was gonna regret that gassy thing. Not for long though, 'cause it made me lawl

Good night babyface

vicky says:

good night

Someone feel free to explain to me how the hell I lost that argument. I was making a totally logical point and lost before I even knew what was happening. My understanding now is that men clearly have super human brain washing abilities. It's also the only explanation to how I lost that fight and why such an unattractive gender gets so much pussy. (I like boys, but think about it; they're hairy, fart producing beings... no one likes hairy farts... BRAINWASHING!